Friday, March 09, 2012

Why the “KONY 2012” Critics May Be Right, But I Don’t Care


I admit it—the video got to me. When I watched the thirty-minute video produced by “Invisible Children,” with all the heart-rending scenes of child soldiers and the “so simple a four-year-old can get it” message about bringing Lord’s Resistance Army warlord Joseph Kony to justice, and I found myself choked up and, at the same time, so hopeful and excited that as soon as the video was over, I went to the website and signed up. I ordered my KONY 2012 kit and dutifully shared the video on Facebook, encouraging my friends to watch it, just like millions of others have done.

But then I started reading all the critiques of the video, and of the organization, Invisible Children, and I started to feel like a sucker. The message is over-simplified, some people said. The situation in Uganda is much more complicated. The organization only gives about a third of the money they raise to the child soldiers in Africa, others pointed out. The rest goes to American staff salaries and the production of videos and speaking tours. And the most damning criticism: this is just white Americans playing “savior” to Africans once again, trying to feel like they’re doing something for the world by making a You Tube video. Don’t buy into it, critics say. There are better organizations, more important causes, more culturally sensitive and politically astute strategies.

So I felt guilty, embarrassed, wondered if I was wrong to be so moved, so inspired by this campaign. Am I just a naïve bleeding heart? Or am I really a racist imperialist trying to make myself feel better about all the injustice in the world?

Then I decided—the critics may be right. But I don’t care. And here’s why.

1. The message is over simplified. And that, in my opinion, is the beauty of it. Too often we think that global problems are too big, too complicated that we can’t possibly do anything about it. So we just keep on doing nothing, hoping that someone else will do what we won’t. But this campaign has the message that while we can’t do everything—we can’t give every child soldier back his childhood, we can’t stop every war or eliminate all human rights abuses in the world—maybe we can stop one warlord and bring him to justice and maybe, just maybe, those other thugs and bullies out there in the world will take notice. It also just might be the starting point for me because now I might start learning more about Uganda and the history there and what’s happening with the conflict today. And maybe I’ll start writing my elected officials and caring more about what happens half way around the world in a country that has no economic or national security interest for the US, but where my brothers and sisters live and are suffering.

2. Why is it when a group does good work, so many haters try and point out how they could use their money better? I hear this all the time: don’t give to Heifer International or to Save the Children because they spend too much money on overhead and glossy catalogues. Don’t do a breast cancer walk or AIDS marathon because most of the money goes to the event organizers not the people suffering. I think it’s important for people to know where their money goes when they give to charities, causes or organizations. Read up on them on Charity Navigator, because I think non-profits should be good stewards of the money their raise. But I think raising consciousness about issues that most people don’t know anything about, or choose to ignore most of the time, is valuable and worth the money. And when a high profile organization raises millions of dollars through a national ad campaign or sharply produced video (which is expensive), even a smaller percentage of that is more than some low profile, low budget group can raise. And any campaign that gets people to give money to advocate for the rehabilitation of child soldiers rather than (or in addition to) spending money at Starbucks or on the newest Wii game or another pair of skinny jeans is alright with me.

3. So even if it’s mostly about us, and not about African children, is that so bad? Americans—especially white, wealthy, educated Americans like me—have a lot of privilege that we didn’t earn and that we don’t deserve. And most of all, we have the privilege of not knowing, not caring, not doing a single thing to help people whose lives are much harder, whose future is much more uncertain, that our own. However with power comes responsibility—and one of those responsibilities is to advocate for those without power. One of the things that Jason Russell says in the video is “where you live shouldn’t determine whether you live” and the video tries to convey the sense that the Ugandan child soldiers aren’t that different from us—that we’re all connected and therefore the suffering and the future of other people is important for us, for our world, for our shared future. So if this campaign gets us out of our comfort zones, wakes us up from our apathy, raises our awareness and consciousness even just a little bit, then it is worth doing. In addition, this video was viewed by 40 million people in three days on You Tube, and most of them were young people age 13-24. So if this campaign can empower young people feel like they have a voice, and that they have the power to change the world through political activism and service, then maybe they will, and the world will be a very different place when they are my age.

I think the critiques of this campaign and this organization are worth listening to—especially those who know far more about African in general and the situation in Uganda in particular than I do. People like Ugandan journalist Rosebell Kagumire and African Foreign Policy expert Emira Woods. But let’s be honest, this video campaign has given them a wider audience than they had before, too. So we’re all learning, and hopefully doing and caring more today than we did five days ago, and for that, I for one am excited and hopeful, and refuse to feel cynical and critical. Thank you Invisible Children for opening my eyes and stirring my heart.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

we're moving...

I have started a new blog for our Silver Spring Cooperative Parish: "Inside-out Church" Come on over and see what's happening...

Friday, April 10, 2009

A Good Friday


To observe Good Friday, folks from Woodside and Hughes UMC, as well as some friends from the community walked through downtown Silver Spring observing a version of the stations of the cross. We called it "The Way of the Cross" and we stopped at various social service agencies, ministry partners and public places to read scripture, pray and sing. We lifted up the homeless, the poor, the sick, the disabled, the lonely, friends and strangers alike. We prayed for the righteous, the servants, the followers of Jesus who provide home, food, a place to belong and Christ's love to our community.

It was a gorgeous day and we passed people out for lunch, construction workers, and lots of traffic on Georgia Avenue. Some greeted us with smiles, some observed us with curiosity, some looked away uncomfortably. I overheard a child ask her father, "what are they doing?" We are witnessing to the love of God.

At Silver Spring Interfaith Housing Coalition, our reader's voice cracked with emotion as she read Jesus' command from the cross to his disciple to take his mother into his home, and our command to serve: "Do we notice the homeless men, women and children in our community? Or do they remain hidden from our eyes?" Some unhoused neighbors and a staff nurse joined us at Shepherd's Table. And when we got to the Easter Seals Intergenerational Center, some of the seniors and staff came out onto the porch to be part of our reading. I saw one woman from the staff wiping away her tears as we finished and walked away.

A couple of weeks ago, a little girl at church asked me: Why do we call it Good Friday? Now we know. Because the suffering of the cross was brutal, but out of that came the greatest gift the world has ever known. And out of the suffering that is all around us, there are, yet and still, signs of hope.

Just Because It's Holy Week...

the baby got sick and had to stay home from daycare for three days, and the dishwasher broke.
Is there something I am not doing right?

Monday, April 06, 2009

Bunny Week


Bunnies Gone Wild
Originally uploaded by Bakerella
So it's HOLY WEEK...the culmination of Lent, and the holiest week of the Christian year when we remember the Last Supper, the trial, suffering and crucifixion of Jesus and we await the coming HOPE of Easter with prayer, fasting and penitence.

And my four-year-old daughter Nora came home from preschool today with a calendar of her week's activities announcing this week's theme: BUNNY WEEK.

Perfect.

Now, let me just say, it's a wonderful preschool. I adore Nora's teachers and she is thriving there. And it's not a religious school. Not at all, in fact. I learned this the hard way back in December when they invited parents to come in and share about family holiday traditions and Nora wanted to bring in her nativity scene, which was fine, I was told, so long as we didn't mention Jesus. You have got to be kidding me...

So I am not expecting them to get into the religious significance of the Easter season. But it does concern me a bit that the most important Christian holiday (more important, even, than Christmas), is (hard) boiled down to eggs and bunnies. If that's not evidence that we live in a post-Christian, neo-pagan culture, I don't know what is.

It's just also a good reminder to me, as a person who seeks to follow Christ, and also to raise my children in this faith, that it's so important to really enter into the story of this whole week. I can't just go from Hosanna! to Hallelujah!, omit all that comes between, and really expect that the resurrection will have any impact on my life or faith.

So may Jesus keep me, and you, near the cross this Holy Week.

PS. I did feel a little better knowing that the kick off to "Bunny Week" was reading The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown, which, if you haven't read it lately, you should, because it's a sweet story and one of the best metaphors for God's persistent love there is!

Thursday, March 05, 2009

On Collars and Titles


Collared
Originally uploaded by Gary McMurray
One of my Lenten disciplines this year, in addition to blogging regularly, has been to wear my clerical collar once a week. I try and wear my "clergy uniform" on days when I am going to be away from the church office and out in the world. The whole point is to try and remember that I am a minister of God at all times and that my speech, behavior, even my driving (yikes!) should reflect the image of God that I hope others will see. It's been humbling, and, I will admit, fun to see people's reaction. Today at lunchtime, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my rabbi friend, a man who was coming in audibly gasped when he saw us. Maybe he thought it was one of those bad jokes (a pastor and a rabbi are eating sushi...)

But the other piece of this is that I am constantly wrestling with my pastoral identity and the whole mix of pastor, mom, human being that I am everyday. When I put on my collar, the first thing that people see is my pastoral identity, but I am still all those other things, too, and those identities are just as important to me.

Today someone suggested to me that I shouldn't let people at church call me just "Rachel"; that I should have people call me Rev. Rachel at least, so that they show respect for the office and my role as pastor. I have never had a problem with people calling me by my first name--I want to be accessible and don't want titles to stand in the way of relationship. I have accepted the responsibility and privilege of being "set apart" for this work of God. And yet, I feel that I must earn people's respect--that it shouldn't just be given to me because I have a certain degree, title or shirt.

I hope that people will offer me respect just because I am a child of God and because all people deserve compassion, patience, love and mercy. And I also hope that whether or not I am wearing my collar, my words and deeds will show that I am someone who seeks to follow Jesus everyday.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Snow Day

I am reading a new book by Brian McLaren called Finding Our Way Again: The Return of the Ancient Practices in which he declares that Christianity should be more of a way of life than a set of beliefs. He encourages a return to "the way" through the ancient practices of pilgrimage, fasting, sacred meals, common prayer, giving, Sabbath keeping and the liturgical year. So far I think this book has got a lot of good ideas that I'll be blogging about here, but today I want to celebrate Sabbath. After all, what's a better sabbath than a snow day?


Saturday, February 28, 2009

What Not To Wear

I love this picture, by the way. "Fashion is the new religion"? Seriously?

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
--Colossians 3:12-14

I got to celebrate a wedding today and the bride and groom chose this scripture to be read. It is a great passage for a wedding, because so many people spend so much time thinking about what they're going to wear at their wedding, but what do you wear to a marriage? Or to any relationship for that matter?

Compassion. Kindness. Humility. Gentleness. Patience. Forgiveness. Love.

Sometimes we forget that these spiritual garments are essential items in any wardrobe. We get so caught up at times in how we look on the outside and forget that we need dressing on the inside, too. And there are times when we need people to be honest enough to say to us, "Hey, you have a bit of selfishness stuck to your shoe." Or, "That anger and resentment really doesn't look good on you. How about trying a little patience and forgiveness?"

Those kinds of things never wear out; they never go out of fashion. They are appropriate for every season.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Ash Wednesday


Fire and Water
Originally uploaded by peasap

Sunday's palms are Wednesday's ashes as another Lent begins; thus we kneel before our Maker in contrition for our sins. We have marred baptismal pledges, in rebellion gone astray; now returning, seek forgiveness; grant us pardon, God, this day! (From the hymn "Sunday's Palms are Wednesday's Ashes" words by Rae E. Whitney, tune: Beach Spring)

The fire took quickly to the well dried palms, and I could feel the heat as the flames burned higher. The strong wind blows great wafts of smoke heavenward and the smell clings to my hands and hair. I now understand why the ancient traditions use incense to lift their prayers to God. As the flames die down and the fire smolders, all that remains is ash. It is the darkest black imaginable, and messy. The tiny flecks stick to everything.

One by one they come forward--a homeless woman and a district superintendent; the man and the woman who have lost their jobs; the woman whose marriage is faltering; young people with heavy burdens and old people afraid of death. Before the altar, all of this falls away and we are simply reminded that we are dust. Once again the breath of God breathes new life into us, and we are forgiven, redeemed, set free.

We set our feet on the path of Christ. We will not shy away from the cross this year, for we know that there are things that are some things worse than death. And our God will not allow death to have the final word--no, not ever.

May you keep a Holy Lent.

Monday, October 06, 2008

It is Better to Give Than to Receive

I don't know how she knew that stewardship season is approaching, but yesterday I overheard Nora telling Marcus her giving plan. "I am going to give away all my money from my fairy wishes box (that's her piggy bank) to other children who don't have any money...and I am going to get paid for that."
Well, sort of.

In other children's spirituality news, we had a wonderful children's chapel service yesterday, complete with a blessing of the (stuffed) animals in honor of St. Francis of Assisi's feast day. I am looking forward to our next children's chapel on November 2nd when we will celebrate All Saints Day! Hope you'll come.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Is it live or is it...

I am so excited! We're PODCASTING!
Check our website for weekly podcasts from worship at Woodside--music, sermons and other highlights.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Dog...gone.


We said good-bye to a very good dog yesterday. Sojourner was our first baby--he has been part of our family since just after Marcus and I were married and moved into our first house. And he was the sweetest dog I have ever met. He would let the cat beat up on him, and never minded when the kids pulled his fur or climbed on him. Like most dogs, I guess, he was always happy to see us when we arrived home, always up for a walk. He loved to chase squirrels through the woods, and his favorite snack was raw carrots.
Sojourner was a rescue dog--he had bounced around from home to home until he finally came to us--and that's why we named him Sojourner (although we often just called him "Sojo"). He was a special needs dog. He had a skin condition for which the vet first prescribed a special diet (he was the only vegetarian in the house), and he took steroids, and we tried dozens of different shampoos. He would itch until he had bald patches, and boy did he stink! But about a year ago we finally sorted all his skin issues and finally his coat looked great. And he never, ever protested taking his allergy shot, so long as he got his treat afterwards.
What got him in the end was a tumor growing in his sinus. We had hoped it was just some kind of infection and we tried several different treatments, none of which gave him any relief. Together with our vet, we decided that putting him to sleep was the most humane thing to do.
Before we took him to the vet for the last time, I read to him Dog Heaven, so he (and we) might not feel so sad (although I cried the whole time I was reading to him). After all, it was just one more sojourn, and in dog heaven there are fields to run in, cat-shaped dog biscuits, and angel children. And in dog heaven, dogs get to be where they belong: "with God who made them."
Once he was gone, we were talking with our vet, Dr. Gouri Krishna, and I said that there really didn't seem to be any such thing as a good end for a dog. But she said the most wise and wonderful thing. She said, "But he had lots of good moments in his life, and dogs are better at living in the moment than we are. For them death is just one more moment; it's just the end."
I used to have a bumper sticker on our old car that said "Lord, help me be the person my dog thinks I am." That is still my prayer. And I also pray that I can learn from Sojo how to live more in the moment. Thank you, Sojo, for being such a good dog and for sharing your life with us. We will miss you very much.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Does it Matter if the President Wears Pantyhose?

One of the best classes I took at Hendrix College had nothing to do with my Religious Studies major, but it was fascinating nonetheless. It was called "Gender, Sexuality and American Politics," and it was taught by one of my favorite professors, Dr. Jay Barth.

Sarah Palin
Originally uploaded by MBS1983

I particularly remember one class session where we watched political ads for women candidates, including a woman who had run for Lieutenant Governor in Arkansas (and lost), Charlie Cole Chaffin. I will never forget this woman, dressed in jeans and a plaid shirt, posed with her hunting rifle and retriever, trying to balance the need to appear both tough and feminine at the same time. She seemed to have it down-this complicated female leader formula (her name is "Charlie" for goodness sakes!), and yet in the end, it didn't really matter.

Who knew that just 12 years after I took that class in college, we would have a presidential race like the one we have this year. For the first time, a woman and an African-American man were vying for a major party's Presidential nomination. And now we have Barak Obama running for President and Sarah Palin running as the Vice-Presidential candidate with John McCain. Wow!

In some ways this is really great. But it has also given me pause. As a woman who has been the first female pastor in both churches that I have served, I think I have some sense of the extra level of scrutiny that can be placed on women leaders at times. I, too, have been pregnant (twice) while being in a public leadership position, and people have questioned my ability to be both an effective pastor and a good mom. And I have even had people say rude, inappropriate and sexist/sexual things to me on occasion (in church of all places--aren't you shocked!) So while being a pastor doesn't really compare with being an elected political leader (but I do, ahem, have REAL responsibilities, too), I think I may understand some of what Gov. Palin has also experienced in her career. And I am excited that there is a woman on one of the presidential tickets!

But I think we need to ask ourselves: when it comes down to it, what matters more? If I can identify with the personal narrative of a candidate or if their policies are in line with my values? This is a tough one, but I hope that all Americans will take seriously the policy positions of both candidates and let that be our guide, rather than just deciding based on whose story is more like our own. I don't expect that all women will support Sarah Palin, just like I wouldn't expect all African-Americans to support Barak Obama, or all white men to support John McCain or Joe Biden just because they are also white men.

As Christians I think that our need to look at each of the candidates policy positions is even more crucial. Our faith should inform our political views because Christ calls us to seek justice and righteousness in this world. The Christian organization, Sojourners has a non-partisan voters resource called "Vote Your Values" that I thought was helpful in looking at political policies broadly and in a Christian context, that you might want to check out, too.

This is going to be an historic election no matter which way it goes and I am excited to be a part of it. I hope that everyone will take advantage of the freedom we have in this country to choose our political leaders, and think, pray and vote!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

small wonders

On our vacation to "wild and wonderful" West Virginia last week, I was the unofficial family photographer. In addition to lots of pictures of the kids (Nora climbing rocks, Graham in the baby backpack...) my eye and my camera was continually drawn to the smallest signs of God's beautiful creation. I have posted a few here:

And because I just can't resist...here's one family photo:


Friday, August 01, 2008

(New) Old Time Religion


Last night I went with a few other folks from Woodside to the "Church Basement Roadshow: A Rollin' Gospel Revival!" at the Kay Spiritual Life Center at American University. It was set up like an old time revival, but we got to hear three leaders in the Emerging Church movement, Doug Pagitt, Tony Jones and Mark Scandrette, speak about their ideas for the future of Christianity.

As I understand it, folks in this Emergent movement seek to emphasize the personal story of Christianity over the doctrine and dogma of the church. Doug Pagitt (dressed as 19th Century Gospel revivalist "Big Brother" Duke Arnold) began last night by telling us that "there are 1,972 first names in the Bible. And do you know why that is? Because you can't tell the story of God with out telling the stories of the people who participate with God." What they seem to be saying is that of us has an experience of the holy that is unique and valid, and that experience is just as valid as what the church teaches about God. And in fact, the church could learn a lot from the way in which people (especially those who are outside the church) experience God.

Tony Jones showed a video interview with his friend "Trucker Frank", a man who had "been excommunicated from a Christian book store, cheated on by his wife and who had tried to commit suicide." Yet, Trucker Frank had some very powerful insights about faith and seemed to know and follow Jesus in an authentic and honest way.

The other thing about this "new" movement in Christianity is that it emphasizes the practice of faith. Following Jesus is a grand experiment, said Mark Schandrette, and sometimes we do OK, and other times we fail. But it's a life we live. Being a Christian isn't sitting in church for an hour a week. Schandrette shared a story about reaching out to a man called "The Emperor," who lived in a bus and struggled with mental illness and had been ostracized by his family and friends. The Emperor wasn't an easy person to love, but Mark kept trying, even when the Emperor rejected his friendship, and eventually he realized that he "feels more alive when he pushes his own limits and relies on a love that is greater than his own."

I am glad I went to this Rollin' Revival last night--and I want to thank Susan, Delores and Matt for joining me. It gave me a lot to think about and re-energized me!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

There's Power in the Blood

Wow! It's been a really long time since I have posted anything on my blog, and I am sorry about that. But perhaps this story will offer some glimpse into my life at the moment and an explanation for my long absence from the blogosphere.

Warning: This post contains irreverent comments. Please do not proceed without a sense of humor.

I have never been a big fan of the "blood" hymns--you know "There's a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel's veins...", etc. While I do fervently believe that we are all saved by grace through Jesus Christ, I am not really big on sacrificial atonement theology. And besides, I am squeamish, and it just seems gross to me.

So when I found out that one of our Vacation Bible School songs was "There's Power in the Blood" I was a little unnerved. I wasn't sure I wanted my three year old running around singing at the top of her little lungs: "there's power, there's power, there's wonder-working power in the BLOOD OF THE LAMB." But of course they always make those VBS songs so darn peppy and catchy, and that's exactly what happened. And I have had that song stuck in my head for going on ten days now.

Anyway, on Sunday afternoon, with Vacation Bible School over and done with we were just having a nice, relatively quiet time at home. I was in the yard with Graham, my neighbor and her kids waiting for Nora to come outside to play with them when I heard screaming from inside the house. Marcus bursts through the back door to tell me I have got to come inside NOW! Fearing the worst, I run inside to see blood all over the floor. Sojourner--the dog--had a nosebleed. Nora was freaking out and Marcus was trying to calm her down, so the bleeding dog was wandering all over the house. The place looked like a crime scene! Quickly, I called the animal hospital, got directions and we all loaded up into the car to take Sojo to the vet, spraying Resolve on the carpets on our way out the door.

We still don't know exactly what caused the nosebleed, but two vet visits and $600 later he seems to be on the mend. That night we finally got home, got something to eat and got the kids into bed, and Marcus and I spent the rest of Sunday night cleaning up the house. And the whole time, all I could think of was "there's power, there's power, there's wonder-working power...." Ugh.



Thursday, May 01, 2008

Seen God Lately?

A friend directed me to this cool website: othersix.org.
Where have you found God today? Where do you need to find God today?
Check it out!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

They are my kids, too

It had been a very long day--the first full day that Graham had been with his babysitter--and I was committed to going to an action for Action in Montgomery (AIM) that night. I got a little more than an hour with him and Nora before I had to hop back in the car to fight the rush hour traffic and get to Rockville. I cried all the way there, thinking about missing my babies.

But when I got to the action, I saw the Plum Gar Cobras waiting in the lobby, getting ready to do their cheers. One of the youngest girls said on her way into the large meeting room, "I'm nervous!" I told her that she didn't need to be nervous, that she was going to be great, and she smiled sheepishly, but she was great--waving those little pom poms with her big huge grin. I also heard Ty Mason, a third grader who goes to the after-school program at Good Hope Community Center, get up in front of one thousand people and talk about how "Ms. Cookie" had taught him how to speak in public by making him and his fellow students read their books out loud. And I was in tears again, and I knew that I had made the right decision to come to this action and show my support for this community centers campaign.

I can feel in my bones that maternal instinct that makes me want to protect and provide for my children. I would do anything for them--to make sure that they are healthy and safe and happy, that they have every opportunity to learn and grow and thrive. I am sure that nearly every mother feels this way about her kids, too. But as a Christian, I feel that I can't just fight for the good of my own kids, but that I should do what I can to make sure that all God's children have the love, the care, the opportunities that they need. Those kids, and their parents, who depend on these run down, neglected Montgomery County community centers deserve so much more than they are getting. And those kids are my kids, too.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Back in the Saddle Again


Saddled...
Originally uploaded by schooksonruss
Yesterday was my first Sunday back at church from my maternity leave, and for the most part it felt good to be back. Everyone welcomed me back so warmly and that really helped. I think they were almost as excited to see me as to meet Graham.

A friend of mine, who is also a pastor and a mom said to me, "Admit it--you couldn't stay home with your kids full time, could you?" And I don't think I could, really. My maternity leave has been such a special time, but I know that God has called me to both being a pastor and a mom, and so I am trying my best to balance doing them both as well as I can. I am really thankful that I have so much help though--I couldn't do any of this without Marcus. And the church has been, and continues to be, so wonderful.

So, giddie up! Let's go!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Ashes to Ashes

Today is Ash Wednesday and Graham and I met Marcus downtown for a noon service. It was a lovely, contemplative service that included the ritual imposition of ashes, which I always find to be a moving reminder of our brokeness, our mortality, and of God's grace and our redemption.

Before we went to receive our ashes, Marcus asked if I thought that Graham should get ashes on his head as well. My knee-jerk reaction was "No. He's got nothing to repent for." Sure, I'm his mom so I'm biased, but seriously, what sins could a seven week old commit? (His three-year-old sister on the other hand is another story :)

But when Marcus went up to the altar with Graham in his arms the pastor put the sign of a cross on both of their heads.




As I looked at the little black soot mark on my son's little forehead, it made me want to cry. But my tears of sadness soon turned to tears of gratitude and joy. Because the more I thought about it, he, like me, like his dad, like his sweet big sister, like all of us, is human. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Being human means that he is imperfect. He is part of this world and surrounded by great joy and great sorrow. He has within him the capacity for goodness as well as sin. And most of all, he is a child of God--loved, forgiven, and redeemed by God.

It also reminded me of a great article I read in this month's Sojourner's magazine called "The Heresy of the Perfect Parent" by Kari Jo Verhulst. She raises a lot of interesting points, among them questioning the validity of the idea that we, as parents, somehow think it's our job to make our children perfect people--as if. She writes: "For it is in those moments when grace cracks through, and I realize that [my daughter] is not mine, but belongs body and soul in life and in death, to her faithful savior Jesus Christ (to borrow from an old catechism), that I feel the least overwhelmed by the task of mothering her for the foreseeable future."

I am not a perfect person, not a perfect mom. And Graham will not be perfect either. But that's what grace is for after all. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...