Ashes to Ashes

Today is Ash Wednesday and Graham and I met Marcus downtown for a noon service. It was a lovely, contemplative service that included the ritual imposition of ashes, which I always find to be a moving reminder of our brokeness, our mortality, and of God's grace and our redemption.

Before we went to receive our ashes, Marcus asked if I thought that Graham should get ashes on his head as well. My knee-jerk reaction was "No. He's got nothing to repent for." Sure, I'm his mom so I'm biased, but seriously, what sins could a seven week old commit? (His three-year-old sister on the other hand is another story :)

But when Marcus went up to the altar with Graham in his arms the pastor put the sign of a cross on both of their heads.

As I looked at the little black soot mark on my son's little forehead, it made me want to cry. But my tears of sadness soon turned to tears of gratitude and joy. Because the more I thought about it, he, like me, like his dad, like his sweet big sister, like all of us, is human. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Being human means that he is imperfect. He is part of this world and surrounded by great joy and great sorrow. He has within him the capacity for goodness as well as sin. And most of all, he is a child of God--loved, forgiven, and redeemed by God.

It also reminded me of a great article I read in this month's Sojourner's magazine called "The Heresy of the Perfect Parent" by Kari Jo Verhulst. She raises a lot of interesting points, among them questioning the validity of the idea that we, as parents, somehow think it's our job to make our children perfect people--as if. She writes: "For it is in those moments when grace cracks through, and I realize that [my daughter] is not mine, but belongs body and soul in life and in death, to her faithful savior Jesus Christ (to borrow from an old catechism), that I feel the least overwhelmed by the task of mothering her for the foreseeable future."

I am not a perfect person, not a perfect mom. And Graham will not be perfect either. But that's what grace is for after all. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...

Skipping Church?

Someone from Woodside asked me the other day why they hadn't seen Marcus and Nora in church lately. The truth is that we have been going to church, just not at Woodside. We are taking advantage of my maternity leave to "church hop" (not shop...just hop) and to hear my friends preach, to visit old friends and to worship in new places to see what other churches are doing. It's been great to worship together as a family. It's also been interesting to be anonymous and have no responsibility on a Sunday morning except to worship God (and try to keep my kids quiet in the pew!). Here's an update on our local church tour:

On Epiphany Sunday we went to Calvary Baptist Church in Washington, DC to hear my good friend Amy Butler preach. The sermon was excellent and the people were very warm and welcoming (Nora loved the nursery). I noted that, at least this particular Sunday there wasn't much congregational singing, and I missed that, although the choral music was beautiful. We were served communion by the ushers and took communion in our pews and it confirmed for me that that way of receiving communion just doesn't feel as meaningful for me as approaching the altar.

The following Sunday was Baptismal Renewal Sunday and we went to Bethesda UMC--the church I served before Woodside. It was special because we got to see a lot of old friends and introduce them to Graham (some of whom said "I didn't even know you were pregnant!"), and because that's the church where Nora was baptized it was very special for us to renew our Baptismal vows there. We heard our friend Jenny Cannon give the sermon and saw the beautiful new chancel renovation (and enjoyed the comfy new pew cushions!).

Last Sunday we went to the church at the other end of our street, St. Luke's Lutheran Church, for their Jazz service. Lutheran services seem a lot like the Catholic Mass to me (all of the liturgy but none of the guilt?) and nearly everything was sung. The music was pretty traditional, except for the accompaniment of a jazz quintet, so that was a little disappointing. But the Postlude, "Jesus is a Rock in a Weary Land," was awesome and the musicians really got into it. Their Bishop preached a homily that covered the Gospel lesson, the church's anniversary and MLK in about 7 minutes, and we had communion again, this time at the altar with real wine (which was pretty exciting for us Methodists). Nora's usually in Sunday school or the nursery when communion is served at Woodside, but she was with this week and got to take communion, which was great. Marcus did a good job explaining the significance to her and she enjoyed being part of the ritual. We walked to church, but still managed to be late. We have actually been late to church every week--not on purpose, just because it's been hard to get our act together. I have even more sympathy for the parents of young children in my church now that I am the mother of two.

In the coming weeks we are planning to go to River Road Unitarian Church to hear another friend preach (and because Marcus is interested in how the Unitarians worship) and to Foundry UMC to worship with some friends. We are planning to skip church one week next month because we'll be on Kiawah Island, SC with my mom, aunt and uncle and grandmother, but other than that, we'll be continuing our tour of local churches, and enjoying my stress-free Saturday nights.

Maternity Leave

OK, so this isn't the most "spiritual" of posts...but here's what we're up to:

Today, after two weeks of having grandparents here visiting, Graham and I are spending a quiet day at home together. Nora is back at school (and I miss her already) and Marcus is back at work. Nana and Poppy should be getting on an airplane back to Memphis within the hour. And I am still in my pajamas! Graham is dressed, but needs his diaper changed again, and can't decide if he wants to take a nap or not.

The baby thing is certainly easier the second time around--we are much less anxious and used to be sleep deprived. Balancing the needs of an active three year old with a newborn is a different challenge, but so far we're doing OK. It has been great to have family here, but we are looking forward to getting back into a routine.

The biggest challenge for me is just to be in the moment--to enjoy these days with my baby and not try and do too much. I feel some "church withdrawl" and as I look around the house I am constantly making a list of things I need and want to do. But I remind myself that in seven short weeks I will be back to the church and I will long for lazy these mornings with Graham and evenings doing puzzles and reading books with Nora.

An Advent Story

This is so worth reading...

http://www.textweek.com/advent_story.htm

The First Week of Advent

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs...

That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see that it is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become and the more joyful our expectancy.

from Romans 8, The Message version

Yet Another Reason I Love My Church Family

It's true--church families can be messy and frustrating at times. But there are also lots of reasons to love them. Here's one...

On Thursday night we had a worship planning meeting at my house because Marcus is travelling for work. My plan was to set up Nora with a DVD so that she would be occupied while we met (and maybe, just maybe, fall asleep). But I didn't want her to be all the way down in the basement family room where we keep the TV while we met upstairs, so I decided to move the TV to my room (a brilliant idea when you are 8+ months pregnant). So I get the TV upstairs and set it down on the bed so I can move stuff off the dresser, and just as I turn around it rolls off the bed and lands with a loud crash on the floor. Luckily there wasn't any broken glass and it didn't land on anyone's foot, but as I turned it over I heard the sickening sound of broken pieces inside. So now Nora is hysterical (because it scared the daylights out of both of us, and because she really wanted to watch TV) and it's 45 minutes before people are supposed to arrive for the meeting and I am wondering what the heck I am going to do. I decided to run up to the church and borrow the TV from the youth room (so I ended up hauling yet another TV down two flights of stairs like an idiot) and I got it home and set up before everyone came over and Nora was completely happy, but I was frazzled.

After the meeting I shared this story with a couple of people, Randy and Rebecca, because I knew that I was going to have to tell Marcus when he called and I was dreading that. They were supportive and assured me that Marcus would be OK--which he was, mostly. The next day I told the story to one other person at church, Ed, who I thought might have an idea where I could get another used TV cheap. Ed said that he would be on the look out for me. Less than an hour later I got a call from Rebecca who told me that she and her husband were planning to buy a new TV this weekend anyway, and would I like to have their old one. Then this morning I got a call from yet another person, Jerry, who had talked to Ed and he had a TV that he wanted to bring over to me, which I gratefully declined. Then I told this story to Marie who said that if we still needed one, she had one we could have!

This is just one great example of the love that church people have for one another most of the time. If you need something--friendship, support, prayers, food, or even a TV--the church family is a good place to go because, in their hearts, people are kind, generous, and loving.

Thanks everybody!

Blogging Makes Good Company

You'll never guess who else has a blog...

That's right. Screech, the mascot for the Washington Nationals Baseball Team. So now my new goal is to post more frequently than Screech. But the question is: whose blog would Nora rather read?

Rabble-Rouser for Peace

Last night a group of us from Woodside went to the National Cathedral to hear Archbishop Desmond Tutu speak on the Spirituality of Reconciliation. I had the privilege of taking a class with Archbishop Tutu when I was in seminary at Emory University, so I knew how wonderful he is and I was excited to share that experience with others. He continues to amaze me with his wisdom, his humor and the depth of his faith which leads him to believe (in spite of all the horrors in this world, including the ones that he has witnessed in South Africa) that human beings are inherently good and made in the image of God. You can watch his whole speech on the National Cathedral website, but here are some of my favorite quotes from last night (with a little paraphasing):

The heart of the Christian gospel isn't love...it is reconciliation.

Are there some things that are unforgivable? Yes...on a human level. But we are created in the image of God and called to be God's moral agents in the world...to strive to be perfectly loving as God is perfectly loving.

God never gives up on us. When we fall down, God picks us up, dusts us off and says, "Try again."

You have the power to be a saint...go for it, dude!

Volunteers in Mission

I am behind in my blogging, but I wanted to post a few pictures from our amazing trip to New Iberia, Louisiana Ocotober 6-13th. It was such a great trip because of the wonderful people from Woodside who went, and because of the inspiring people we worked with down there. It's true what people say, especially in the lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans--there's still so much work to be done. But it's amazing to see the people returning to their homes and neighborhoods, rebuilding their lives, and also to know how many people have been part of the rebuilding effort. I am proud to say that the United Methodist Church has been one of the biggest contributors to the rebuilding efforts of the Gulf Coast communities that were struck by hurricanes Katrina and Rita two years ago!

I saw two of the women who went on the trip today, and asked them how their re-adjustment was going. One said it took her until mid-week to adjust to sitting behind a desk/computer at work all day. The other said that she keeps forgetting that people don't wave at each other when their driving here (but wouldn't it be a nicer place if they did?!) Reverse culture-shock!

Enjoy the photos.

We were greeted at the Louis Armstrong airport in New Orleans by a jazz band.

An abandoned house in the lower Ninth Ward--many people have not come back to this neighborhood, making it feel like a ghost town. But in another neighborhood, Gentilly, which was also devastated when the levees broke, there's a new playground!

Two of our team members, Delores Pinkney (L) and Elizabeth Moore (R), work with Gwen Dairy, a resident of Jeanerette, LA, and homeowner of one of the four homes our team worked on during the week.

Our team enjoyed lots of good food! Here we are having dinner out at Charlie's in New Iberia, LA--a great place for cajun food.

Jesus Camp

Jesus Camp
Originally uploaded by .Fabio

Last night Marcus and I watched the documentary "Jesus Camp" which is about a group of Evangelical Christians and their children's ministry. Early in the film, the children's minister, "Pastor Becky," is being interviewed and she says "children are just so use-able." Perhaps she meant "useful" but as the film progressed, it was clear that "use-able" is much more apt. There were children being home schooled in subjects like creationism and how global warming is a hoax. There were children being led to pray over a cardboard cut-out of George W. Bush. There were children weeping and throwing themselves to their knees to repent of their sins. There were children witnessing to adults--passing out tracts and asking them "if you were to die today, do you know where you would go?" And there were children being told that "one-third of your friends would be here tonight" if it weren't for abortions that had killed them. And when I say children, I mean even little kids, like 4 and 5 years old. It was scary and made me deeply sad.

But it also made me wonder--how do we teach our children the values and beliefs of our faith without manipulating them or indoctrinating them? How do we raise them to be faithful people without scaring the hell out of them? How do we teach the power and truth of the gospel without watering it down too much, and yet also make it possible for our children to understand?

The parents and pastors in the film didn't actually seem to think that indoctrination was such a bad thing. "Our enemies [meaning Muslims, of course] do the same thing with their children, and excuse me, but we have the TRUTH," Pastor Becky says. And they also didn't seem themselves as coercive--just that they completely limit their children's exposure to any other ideas. One scene that gave me a laugh was when Rachael, one of the little girls in the film, explained how there are some churches where God just isn't there. And you can tell which ones they are because of how they worship. "God is only in those churches where people jump up and down and shout to Jesus--that's how you can tell Jesus is there." So I am sure she would think that our church was one of the God-forsaken ones.

It also made me kind of sad to think that there are people out there who will see this film and think that all Christians are of this ilk. Maybe not many people, but there are some who are so naturally hostile to people of faith that a film like this, about a particularly fundamentalist segment of the Christian community, would give them additional fodder to dismiss Christianity all together.

The other day I ran into one of my neighbors whose child goes to a local Christian (Episcopal) private school. This father was incensed that in chapel recently, the pastor had been teaching "creationism". I was pretty shocked myself, and replied, "really?!" "Yes, he was even saying that God had made man in his own image and woman from man..." I was a little confused at this point, and responded, "well, that is the story from the Bible." "Yes, but there are more enlightened versions of the story around today," he said.

So, to offer some responses to my own questions, I guess I would say that as a pastor and a parent, I do hope to raise my children with respect for the stories, beliefs, values and traditions of our faith, but to also give them the tools to be critical thinkers and accept the Christian faith for themselves when they are old enough. It so important for them to know and understand the stories, the rituals and the beliefs so they can hopefully choose them for themselves some day, that's why they do need to go to church and Sunday school, and we need to practice our faith at home and out in the world, too. But I also think it's good for them to be exposed to other beliefs, other traditions, other ways of viewing the world, and for them to understand what makes us different from people of other faiths (or people who don't have a religion at all), but not better.

I think it would be interesting to know what those children from "Jesus Camp" are like 10 or 15 years from now, to know if they are still Christians, and if their views have changed at all. I just pray that they are not scarred for life.

Moms' National Anthem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anSpBUxsgAU

This is hilarious. For those of us with little ones...there's so much to look forward to.

And a big hug and thanks to my mom and my mother-in-law for everything!

Justice for All?

A few weeks ago, a member of our church submitted a prayer request on her attendance card. "Justice for the Jena 6," she wrote. I wasn't sure who the Jena 6 were or what the situation was, so the next time I saw her in person I asked her. "You don't know?" she responded, incredulous. Then she explained to me the story of a small town in Louisiana where on the grounds at the local high school there was a tree where white students liked to hang out. When some of the black students asked school officials if they could sit there too, the response was "sit wherever you want." So the next day, some of the black students sat under the tree. The following day there were nooses hung from the branches of the tree. School officials recommended that the students who hung the nooses be expelled, but the school board dismissed it as a prank. Racial tensions increased and soon fights broke out--white versus black, black versus white. When one white student was injured in one of these confrontations, six black young men were arrested. They were in prison for months as their families tried to pay their bail. So far, one young man, Mychal Bell, has been convicted (by and all white jury) and could go to jail for 22 years. The others still await trials. (You can read more here.)

Most of us have by now probably heard about the Jena 6 because yesterday people from all over the country travelled to Jena, Louisiana, for a large protest. There were analogies being made to the Civil Rights movement of the 1960's, and the anger and outrage that galvanized people into action. I heard one news report in which they interviewed a (white) pastor in Jena, who said that he didn't understand why his community was coming under so much condemnation. "Many of the places that these buses are driving through have just as much racism and injustice as Jena, LA," he said. He's got a point, but it was still pretty powerful to see so many people gathered together to make the statement that racial injustice must end.

I don't consider myself an expert on racial issues, nor do I think that I am completely free from all racial bias (although I work on it all the time). But it saddens and angers me that this kind of blatant, institutional racism--as well as more subtle forms of racism and prejudice--still exist in our country. Having grown up in a pretty homogeneous small town in the south, I feel so blessed to now live in a community that is racially and ethnically diverse, and to pastor a church that also reflects that diversity.

My prayers are with the Jena 6 and their families. But also with the whole community of Jena--and especially with all those confused and angry young people at that high school. And with our country as we still seek healing from the sins of racism--past and present. Christ have mercy.

Justice should be colorblind
Originally uploaded by CharlesMedia™

Bad Mommy/ Bad Pastor Day

Ever have one of those days when you wish you could get a do-over?

Today I was a bad mommy AND a bad pastor, too. I spoke too quickly, judged too harshly, over reacted. I talked more than I listened. I regretted my behavior almost immediately, but felt too hurt and angry to ask for forgiveness or make amends.

So, I'm human, right? I was tired and fed up, and I have bad days like everyone else. But it still doesn't feel good.

A couple of weeks ago in my pregnancy yoga class one of the women confessed that her biggest anxiety about having a baby was whether or not she would be a good parent. I told her, "some days you won't be a good parent. But many other days you will. And your child will forgive you." Another woman in the class likened it to being a teacher (which they both were) and that sometimes you have good teacher days--other days not so good. But the kids get over it.

Everyone has those days when they need a little extra grace. Today was one of those days for me. Thank God for grace and forgiveness.

I'm Going to Regret This When I Get Back huh?
Originally uploaded by fry fry!

Requiem for New Orleans

Hurricane Katrina - Picture Originally uploaded by Mary-Jane Maybury

We recently watched Spike Lee's documentary "When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts" which is about the devastation brought to New Orleans and the surrounding area by Hurricane Katrina and the destruction of the levees around the city. This coming week marks the second anniversary of that tragedy, and as we watched this four hour documentary, I was reminded of what a horrible, appalling event that was. As the headlines fade, we tend to forget about the devastation, the human suffering, the injustice. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend that you watch it. I promise it will open your eyes, break your heart, and make you mad.


Two weeks ago we blessed three people from our congregation who were evacuees from New Orleans following Katrina, and who are now returning to their homes there. Hildebrand, Bill and Evelyn are all in their 80's, but they are strong, brave, proud people with deep roots in New Orleans, and although we will miss them greatly, I am so glad they are going back home. New Orleans needs people like them in order to rebuild, and our prayers go with them.

Leaving Church

This summer I read a book that really made me stop and think--about my life, my vocation, about the church. It's called Leaving Church by Barbara Brown Taylor. Barbara Brown Taylor is an Episcopalian priest and one of the best preachers alive today. In this book she recounts how and why she went into ordained ministry, and why after 20 years, she left the local church to teach religion at a small liberal arts college in Georgia. This book came out a while ago and to be honest I have been afraid to read it--afraid that I would resonate with it too much, perhaps; or afraid that it would make me question my own sense of call and commitment to the local church. And it did. But as it turns out, that's not such a bad thing.Because every now and then it's important to re-evaluate why you're doing something and if it's still where God is calling you to be.

Brown Taylor writes that although she went into the ministry because she loved God and wanted to be as close to the Holy as possible, she found that much of the time in ministry she was so busy doing God's work, she lost that mystical connection with God that comes from just being, which was what drew her into ministry in the first place. I can relate to that. I accepted a call into the ministry because I love God, and I love people. But there are plenty of things in the church that aren't about God at all, and there are lots of people who are pretty tough to love.

But I also learned some things from her story about how to keep from getting burned out on church (and, by the way, I think this goes for anyone who's deeply involved in a church, and not just ordained clergy). First, take time to do the things that remind you of why you answered a call to ministry in the first place. For me, that means going on a VIM trip to Louisiana in October (even though at 7 months pregnant I won't be the biggest help). My call came to me through the experiences of mission/social justice work, and I need to reconnect with that passion again.

The second thing I learned (and this one is more for the clergy out there, than for the laity) is that, while ministry requires you to be everyone's pastor, you also need to let yourself have relationships with people who feed your soul, even within the church. Brown Taylor writes: "...I wound up with a couple I had always thought I would enjoy but whom I never really got to know since they did not serve on any committees and were never, as far as I knew, in crisis. We sat down in adjacent rocking chairs with plates full of lobster and corn balanced on our laps, laughing so much that I spit food clear across the porch. I did not wonder why I had not sought them out earlier because I already knew the answer. By my rules, caring for troubled people always took precedence over enjoying delightful people, and the line of troubled people never ended. Sitting there with corn stuck between my teeth, I wondered why I had not changed that rule sooner." Being everyone's pastor, means everyone. The troubled people, and the delightful people. Don't forget the people who are easy to love, too, because in reality they usually out number those who make it hard.

The other really important thing I took away from this book was Brown Taylor's understanding of the church as one who had been deeply inside it, and now, after leaving, felt like more of an outsider. She writes: "The clear message was that...God lived in the world. If churches saw their mission in the same way, there is no telling what might happen. What if people were invited to come tell what they already know of God instead of learn what they are supposed to believe? What if they were blessed for what they were doing in the world instead of chastened for not doing more at church? What if church felt more like a way station than a destination? What if the church's job were to move people out the door instead of trying to keep them in, by convincing them that God needed them more in the world than in the church?"

Really...what if?

I highly recommend this book--especially for pastors--but for anyone who has struggled with the church. It has given me a lot to think about. And no, I'm not leaving church. And even more importantly, I have been reminded about why I am staying.

Faith Night Follow-up: Report from the Field

Washington Nationals Baseball at RFK Stadium-Washington, DC
Originally uploaded by Michael6076

So, last Sunday afternoon Marcus, Nora and I join my friend from seminary, Amy-Ellen and her boyfriend Jason at the Washington Nationals vs. St. Louis Cardinals Baseball game which had been designated as "Faith Night." As I said before, this was actually a coincidence. We weren't there for "Faith Night," even though we are, I suppose, part of the marketing demographic for this sort of thing given that we are Christians. But we were there mainly because of Marcus and Amy-Ellen's inexplicable (in my opinion) love for the St. Louis Cardinals.

But since I wrote about this previously, I thought I would offer a little follow up here.

First of all, the big deal that some people were making about the Washington Nationals "endorsing" this "Christian" event was in my mind totally blown out of proportion. A mountain out of a molehill, I would say. Because during the entire game there wasn't even a single reference to any church (except the church of baseball, of course). There wasn't anyone handing out tracts. There were no Veggie Tale characters mixing it up with the presidents, no Bible verses displayed on the big screen. The only thing that might count was that the contemporary Christian band Mercy Me sang "God Bless America" during the seventh inning stretch. But they ALWAYS sing that song at that point in the game, and at least Mercy Me sounded good. (Sometimes it isn't even in tune--making it that much more painful.)

Secondly, unless you already knew about the "Faith Night" event that was to take place after the game, you never would have had known it was going on. In fact, as far as I could tell, unless you had already bought your ticket to the concert in advance, you couldn't even stay afterwards for the concert! Which, I think, proves my earlier point, that this was not an effective evangelization tool; this was about marketing Christianity to people who have already bought in. Faith Night was for the already converted. Church groups and individual Christians who heard about the event on the Christian radio stations were the ones who bought the tickets. The two drunks sitting in front of us, the ones who (OK, let me make an assumption here) may really need to hear about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, had no idea about Faith Night, and even if they had, they didn't have tickets to the concert, so too bad for them.

Now, some people that I really like and respect commented on my previous post that "God can use all things for good" and that faith night, though it might be a bit crass and commercial, might offer the opportunity for someones life to be changed. And that's a good point--who am I to doubt the power of God.

I for one would never say that we self-professing Christians don't need need to have our faith strengthened by events like these, if that's what works for you. It's also possible that some good church-going Christians brought some of their seeker friends with them, and maybe that made a connection--I think that kind of person-to-person evangelism is the most effective kind anyway. But as for "Faith Night" being somehow exclusive to people of other faiths, and as for it being some great opportunity for searching people to come to Christ, well, I'm still not buying it.

Life and Death

life and death
Originally uploaded by * INVERSEFUNCTION

Yesterday the matriarch of our congregation died, quickly and peacefully, with one of her daughters and two granddaughters by her side. I arrived at the hospital about an hour later to wait with them for the funeral home to come and take her body to prepare it for burial. It was a sad, but also a holy time, a time for giving thanks, as death can be, especially when the person who has died has lived a long, full life.

It has been said that death comes in threes, and this is the second one in our church in the last two weeks. This week I also spent some time with a woman who we thought was near death, but, thankfully, it seems like she's doing better and getting stronger. So maybe the third will wait a while yet.

Being a part of the end of life is one of the privileges of my role as a pastor, for it is a sacred journey to move from this life to the life eternal, and it's a blessing for me to do what I can to comfort those left behind. But it can also be sad and even sometimes emotionally draining, because I, too, share in the grief.

Today in my pregnancy yoga class I noticed this juxtaposition for the first time: I am, at this moment, literally a bearer of life, and that is a strange and wonderful thing to be in the midst of death.

At the beginning of this yoga class we go around the room and do a "check-in" so that people can share where they are in their pregnancy and how they are feeling. Most of the time it's complaints of swollen feet or back pain or trouble sleeping, combined with the elation of feeling the baby move, and anticipating (with mixed emotions) the birth process. Today when it was my turn, I shared that physically I feel fine, but that what I was carrying was mostly spiritual restlessness. I told them that I had lately felt surrounded by death, and yet I was also aware that I was in the process of bringing forth new life, and my emotions are swirling. So I warned them, "So if I burst into tears during pigeon pose, that's why," and the room full of equally hormonal women all nodded sympathetically, offering me their permission to break down if I needed to.

Well, I didn't break down. Instead, leaving yoga class, I felt this great sense of hopefulness from being surrounded by so much life. And an awareness and gratitude for both life and death which are part of my life, part of all human life and are each blessings from God.

Blog Envy

envy
Originally uploaded by bookgrl

I am really, really blessed to have this cool friend, Amy Butler who is not only really fun and funny and smart and a great fashion consultant, she's also another young woman pastor, and being friends with her makes me feel like maybe I am not so weird after all. Amy has had a blog for a while now and she's a really disciplined writer. She's very self-depricating about it all, but not only is her blog funny and poignent, but many of her entries are profoundly moving. I have even been brought to tears some of the things she has written.

So Amy has always been my blogging hero, and I know that the Bible says not to be envious, but I admit I am a little bit jealous of her blog. But then today she told me some news that made me really have blog envy: she might get published. And I don't mean on the internet (anyone can get "published" on the internet), I mean like in a BOOK! A writing agent in L.A. was forwarded some of her blog entries and she is trying to get them published!

Seriously, Amy, I am really excited for you and wish you all the best! Maybe someday I'll be as cool as you :)

Stage Fright

Isiah Leggett - County Executive
Originally uploaded by Alan Bowser

This is Ike Leggett with two girls from Woodside (Rachel, on the left, and Julia). I am not sure who took this photo or when, but I love it. It looks like Rachel is interviewing him, which, knowing her, she very well may be!

Last night Woodside opened our fellowship hall for a community "town hall meeting" with County Executive Isaiah "Ike" Leggett. For those of you who live outside of the DC area, the County Exec is kind of like the governor of Montgomery County in terms of his (or her) responsibility/power, the issues and numbers of constituents. So, basically, he's pretty much a big wig, but, I will say, that at least on a personal level Ike Leggett is a pretty nice guy. I respect the fact that he's willing to have these town hall meetings in the various communities in the County and open himself up to questions (and criticism) and there were plenty of both last night. It was exciting for Woodside to host such an event, too, and so I naturally took the opportunity to insert myself into the program (briefly) in order to, hopefully, give a positive impression of the church. I offered to give some words of welcome, an offer which the organizers readily embraced, but I am sorry to say, that, at least in my own estimation, I bombed.

Something happened when I got up in front of those 350 people which rarely happens to me any more, but still occasionally trips me up: I got stage fright. I am not sure if it was that I had been running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to be (literally) four places at once just before I got up to speak, or perhaps I hadn't really thought through was it was that I should say. Or maybe it was the fact that it was ridiculously hot in that fellowship hall and I was worried and embarrassed (disclaimer: the A/C was running full blast but they had brought in these TV lights and the place was packed, so it felt like it was about 90 degrees, and humid). Whatever it was, when I got the mic, I froze inside. I said some of the right things but all in the wrong way. And then I rushed off the stage as soon as I could. I even forgot to introduce the County Executive! Oh well, so much for making a good impression for the church.

Someone told me recently that public speaking is most people's number one fear--more than heights, or snakes, or enclosed places...even death! While most of the time it's not a problem for me, there are times when I do clam up. It helps to know, though, that I'm not alone!

The Church of Baseball?

"I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring..." Annie Savoy (from the movie Bull Durham).

In yesterday's Washington Post, columnist Marc Fisher wrote about the "unsavory mix of peanuts, cracker jacks and Jesus" at the Washington Nationals ballpark. He was specifically criticizing the initiative of a Christian marketing company to have "Faith nights" at major and minor league baseball games. The Washington Nationals will have their "Faith Night" on August 5th when the Nats play the St. Louis Cardinals, and for an extra $10 Christian fans will be able to hear a concert by the band MercyMe and meet Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales.

Fisher's criticism of Faith Night was that it was exclusive to people of other faiths and that baseball is, in itself, a kind of religion (that's when he quoted the character Annie Savoy from the movie Bull Durham). The organizers of the event claim that it's no different from Realtors' Night, Disco Night, 4-H Night or Hispanic Heritage Night at the ballpark and that no one should take offense because all are welcome to come (or not). Of course, part of what is driving this critique has to do with the history of the Nats and their involvement with an evangelical chaplain program, Baseball Chapel, and the message that some of their chaplains were preaching about the eternal damnation of people of other faiths.

Now I am as PC as the next person, and I hear and understand these critiques about Christian exclusivity, and, honestly, I don't really buy it. Not when it comes to Faith Night anyway (the Baseball Chapel thing is a different story). That's not was offends me about "Faith Night." What really offends me is the idea that Christianity is something to be marketed in the first place. That our faith should be packaged and sold, promoted by animated characters, and that there's a group out there telling baseball execs that they should hold Christian Faith Nights because they can deliver "5,000-15,000 more in ticket sales" by holding a Christian rock concert at the ballpark. What would Jesus think about all this, do you suppose?

This week's Gospel lesson from the Revised Common Lectionary is from Luke 9:51-62. In it Jesus is heading toward Jerusalem where he will face his trial and execution, and he's talking with the disciples about what it means to follow him. And as usual, they don't get it. When some other folks come along and also want to follow Jesus he says: "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." To another he said, "Follow me." But he said, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God." Another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home." Jesus said to him, "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."

I could be wrong (it's happened before) but I don't think Jesus is saying here that we should use baseball games as a way to bring people to Christ. I think he's saying that our Christian faith calls us to a life of worship and devotion, of sacrifice and service, of humility and compassion. Our faith is a way of life, not a product to be bought and sold, and exchanged when it doesn't meet our needs any more. And I think there's a very fine line between evangelism and "marketing," between being relevant and selling out. A Christian "faith night" at a baseball game should be different from Realtor's Night. Maybe instead of buying peanuts and cracker jacks, we could take up a collection to feed the hungry children of Washington, DC? Or organize people to walk from the ballpark to the Capitol to draw attention to the suffering of God's people in Darfur? Those might be more authentic ways to combine Christianity and a large secular sporting event.

Coincidentally, Marcus and I have tickets to this game on August 5th. Not because it's Faith Night, but because Marcus also worships the St. Louis Cardinals. We're going to worship at the Church of Baseball. But I'll let you know if we run into Bob the Tomato.

There Are 108 Stitches in a Baseball
Originally uploaded by B Tal