What Not To Wear

Clothes Show Live Fashion Catwalk 2007
Originally uploaded by beckfish

I love this picture, by the way. "Fashion is the new religion"? Seriously?

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
--Colossians 3:12-14

I got to celebrate a wedding today and the bride and groom chose this scripture to be read. It is a great passage for a wedding, because so many people spend so much time thinking about what they're going to wear at their wedding, but what do you wear to a marriage? Or to any relationship for that matter?

Compassion. Kindness. Humility. Gentleness. Patience. Forgiveness. Love.

Sometimes we forget that these spiritual garments are essential items in any wardrobe. We get so caught up at times in how we look on the outside and forget that we need dressing on the inside, too. And there are times when we need people to be honest enough to say to us, "Hey, you have a bit of selfishness stuck to your shoe." Or, "That anger and resentment really doesn't look good on you. How about trying a little patience and forgiveness?"

Those kinds of things never wear out; they never go out of fashion. They are appropriate for every season.

Ash Wednesday

Fire and Water
Originally uploaded by peasap

Sunday's palms are Wednesday's ashes as another Lent begins; thus we kneel before our Maker in contrition for our sins. We have marred baptismal pledges, in rebellion gone astray; now returning, seek forgiveness; grant us pardon, God, this day! (From the hymn "Sunday's Palms are Wednesday's Ashes" words by Rae E. Whitney, tune: Beach Spring)

The fire took quickly to the well dried palms, and I could feel the heat as the flames burned higher. The strong wind blows great wafts of smoke heavenward and the smell clings to my hands and hair. I now understand why the ancient traditions use incense to lift their prayers to God. As the flames die down and the fire smolders, all that remains is ash. It is the darkest black imaginable, and messy. The tiny flecks stick to everything.

One by one they come forward--a homeless woman and a district superintendent; the man and the woman who have lost their jobs; the woman whose marriage is faltering; young people with heavy burdens and old people afraid of death. Before the altar, all of this falls away and we are simply reminded that we are dust. Once again the breath of God breathes new life into us, and we are forgiven, redeemed, set free.

We set our feet on the path of Christ. We will not shy away from the cross this year, for we know that there are things that are some things worse than death. And our God will not allow death to have the final word--no, not ever.

May you keep a Holy Lent.

It is Better to Give Than to Receive

I don't know how she knew that stewardship season is approaching, but yesterday I overheard Nora telling Marcus her giving plan. "I am going to give away all my money from my fairy wishes box (that's her piggy bank) to other children who don't have any money...and I am going to get paid for that."

Well, sort of.

In other children's spirituality news, we had a wonderful children's chapel service yesterday, complete with a blessing of the (stuffed) animals in honor of St. Francis of Assisi's feast day. I am looking forward to our next children's chapel on November 2nd when we will celebrate All Saints Day! Hope you'll come.

Is it live or is it...

I am so excited! We're PODCASTING!
Check our website for weekly podcasts from worship at Woodside--music, sermons and other highlights.

Dog...gone.

We said good-bye to a very good dog yesterday. Sojourner was our first baby--he has been part of our family since just after Marcus and I were married and moved into our first house. And he was the sweetest dog I have ever met. He would let the cat beat up on him, and never minded when the kids pulled his fur or climbed on him. Like most dogs, I guess, he was always happy to see us when we arrived home, always up for a walk. He loved to chase squirrels through the woods, and his favorite snack was raw carrots.

Sojourner was a rescue dog--he had bounced around from home to home until he finally came to us--and that's why we named him Sojourner (although we often just called him "Sojo"). He was a special needs dog. He had a skin condition for which the vet first prescribed a special diet (he was the only vegetarian in the house), and he took steroids, and we tried dozens of different shampoos. He would itch until he had bald patches, and boy did he stink! But about a year ago we finally sorted all his skin issues and finally his coat looked great. And he never, ever protested taking his allergy shot, so long as he got his treat afterwards.

What got him in the end was a tumor growing in his sinus. We had hoped it was just some kind of infection and we tried several different treatments, none of which gave him any relief. Together with our vet, we decided that putting him to sleep was the most humane thing to do.

Before we took him to the vet for the last time, I read to him Dog Heaven, so he (and we) might not feel so sad (although I cried the whole time I was reading to him). After all, it was just one more sojourn, and in dog heaven there are fields to run in, cat-shaped dog biscuits, and angel children. And in dog heaven, dogs get to be where they belong: "with God who made them."

Once he was gone, we were talking with our vet, Dr. Gouri Krishna, and I said that there really didn't seem to be any such thing as a good end for a dog. But she said the most wise and wonderful thing. She said, "But he had lots of good moments in his life, and dogs are better at living in the moment than we are. For them death is just one more moment; it's just the end."

I used to have a bumper sticker on our old car that said "Lord, help me be the person my dog thinks I am." That is still my prayer. And I also pray that I can learn from Sojo how to live more in the moment. Thank you, Sojo, for being such a good dog and for sharing your life with us. We will miss you very much.

Does it Matter if the President Wears Pantyhose?

One of the best classes I took at Hendrix College had nothing to do with my Religious Studies major, but it was fascinating nonetheless. It was called "Gender, Sexuality and American Politics," and it was taught by one of my favorite professors, Dr. Jay Barth.

Sarah Palin
Originally uploaded by MBS1983

I particularly remember one class session where we watched political ads for women candidates, including a woman who had run for Lieutenant Governor in Arkansas (and lost), Charlie Cole Chaffin. I will never forget this woman, dressed in jeans and a plaid shirt, posed with her hunting rifle and retriever, trying to balance the need to appear both tough and feminine at the same time. She seemed to have it down-this complicated female leader formula (her name is "Charlie" for goodness sakes!), and yet in the end, it didn't really matter.

Who knew that just 12 years after I took that class in college, we would have a presidential race like the one we have this year. For the first time, a woman and an African-American man were vying for a major party's Presidential nomination. And now we have Barak Obama running for President and Sarah Palin running as the Vice-Presidential candidate with John McCain. Wow!

In some ways this is really great. But it has also given me pause. As a woman who has been the first female pastor in both churches that I have served, I think I have some sense of the extra level of scrutiny that can be placed on women leaders at times. I, too, have been pregnant (twice) while being in a public leadership position, and people have questioned my ability to be both an effective pastor and a good mom. And I have even had people say rude, inappropriate and sexist/sexual things to me on occasion (in church of all places--aren't you shocked!) So while being a pastor doesn't really compare with being an elected political leader (but I do, ahem, have REAL responsibilities, too), I think I may understand some of what Gov. Palin has also experienced in her career. And I am excited that there is a woman on one of the presidential tickets!

But I think we need to ask ourselves: when it comes down to it, what matters more? If I can identify with the personal narrative of a candidate or if their policies are in line with my values? This is a tough one, but I hope that all Americans will take seriously the policy positions of both candidates and let that be our guide, rather than just deciding based on whose story is more like our own. I don't expect that all women will support Sarah Palin, just like I wouldn't expect all African-Americans to support Barak Obama, or all white men to support John McCain or Joe Biden just because they are also white men.

As Christians I think that our need to look at each of the candidates policy positions is even more crucial. Our faith should inform our political views because Christ calls us to seek justice and righteousness in this world. The Christian organization, Sojourners has a non-partisan voters resource called "Vote Your Values" that I thought was helpful in looking at political policies broadly and in a Christian context, that you might want to check out, too.

This is going to be an historic election no matter which way it goes and I am excited to be a part of it. I hope that everyone will take advantage of the freedom we have in this country to choose our political leaders, and think, pray and vote!

small wonders

On our vacation to "wild and wonderful" West Virginia last week, I was the unofficial family photographer. In addition to lots of pictures of the kids (Nora climbing rocks, Graham in the baby backpack...) my eye and my camera was continually drawn to the smallest signs of God's beautiful creation. I have posted a few here:

And because I just can't resist...here's one family photo:

(New) Old Time Religion

Last night I went with a few other folks from Woodside to the "Church Basement Roadshow: A Rollin' Gospel Revival!" at the Kay Spiritual Life Center at American University. It was set up like an old time revival, but we got to hear three leaders in the Emerging Church movement, Doug Pagitt, Tony Jones and Mark Scandrette, speak about their ideas for the future of Christianity.

As I understand it, folks in this Emergent movement seek to emphasize the personal story of Christianity over the doctrine and dogma of the church. Doug Pagitt (dressed as 19th Century Gospel revivalist "Big Brother" Duke Arnold) began last night by telling us that "there are 1,972 first names in the Bible. And do you know why that is? Because you can't tell the story of God with out telling the stories of the people who participate with God." What they seem to be saying is that of us has an experience of the holy that is unique and valid, and that experience is just as valid as what the church teaches about God. And in fact, the church could learn a lot from the way in which people (especially those who are outside the church) experience God.

Tony Jones showed a video interview with his friend "Trucker Frank", a man who had "been excommunicated from a Christian book store, cheated on by his wife and who had tried to commit suicide." Yet, Trucker Frank had some very powerful insights about faith and seemed to know and follow Jesus in an authentic and honest way.

The other thing about this "new" movement in Christianity is that it emphasizes the practice of faith. Following Jesus is a grand experiment, said Mark Schandrette, and sometimes we do OK, and other times we fail. But it's a life we live. Being a Christian isn't sitting in church for an hour a week. Schandrette shared a story about reaching out to a man called "The Emperor," who lived in a bus and struggled with mental illness and had been ostracized by his family and friends. The Emperor wasn't an easy person to love, but Mark kept trying, even when the Emperor rejected his friendship, and eventually he realized that he "feels more alive when he pushes his own limits and relies on a love that is greater than his own."

I am glad I went to this Rollin' Revival last night--and I want to thank Susan, Delores and Matt for joining me. It gave me a lot to think about and re-energized me!

There's Power in the Blood

Wow! It's been a really long time since I have posted anything on my blog, and I am sorry about that. But perhaps this story will offer some glimpse into my life at the moment and an explanation for my long absence from the blogosphere.

Warning: This post contains irreverent comments. Please do not proceed without a sense of humor.

I have never been a big fan of the "blood" hymns--you know "There's a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel's veins...", etc. While I do fervently believe that we are all saved by grace through Jesus Christ, I am not really big on sacrificial atonement theology. And besides, I am squeamish, and it just seems gross to me.

So when I found out that one of our Vacation Bible School songs was "There's Power in the Blood" I was a little unnerved. I wasn't sure I wanted my three year old running around singing at the top of her little lungs: "there's power, there's power, there's wonder-working power in the BLOOD OF THE LAMB." But of course they always make those VBS songs so darn peppy and catchy, and that's exactly what happened. And I have had that song stuck in my head for going on ten days now.

Anyway, on Sunday afternoon, with Vacation Bible School over and done with we were just having a nice, relatively quiet time at home. I was in the yard with Graham, my neighbor and her kids waiting for Nora to come outside to play with them when I heard screaming from inside the house. Marcus bursts through the back door to tell me I have got to come inside NOW! Fearing the worst, I run inside to see blood all over the floor. Sojourner--the dog--had a nosebleed. Nora was freaking out and Marcus was trying to calm her down, so the bleeding dog was wandering all over the house. The place looked like a crime scene! Quickly, I called the animal hospital, got directions and we all loaded up into the car to take Sojo to the vet, spraying Resolve on the carpets on our way out the door.

We still don't know exactly what caused the nosebleed, but two vet visits and $600 later he seems to be on the mend. That night we finally got home, got something to eat and got the kids into bed, and Marcus and I spent the rest of Sunday night cleaning up the house. And the whole time, all I could think of was "there's power, there's power, there's wonder-working power...." Ugh.

Seen God Lately?

A friend directed me to this cool website: othersix.org.
Where have you found God today? Where do you need to find God today?
Check it out!

They are my kids, too

It had been a very long day--the first full day that Graham had been with his babysitter--and I was committed to going to an action for Action in Montgomery (AIM) that night. I got a little more than an hour with him and Nora before I had to hop back in the car to fight the rush hour traffic and get to Rockville. I cried all the way there, thinking about missing my babies.

But when I got to the action, I saw the Plum Gar Cobras waiting in the lobby, getting ready to do their cheers. One of the youngest girls said on her way into the large meeting room, "I'm nervous!" I told her that she didn't need to be nervous, that she was going to be great, and she smiled sheepishly, but she was great--waving those little pom poms with her big huge grin. I also heard Ty Mason, a third grader who goes to the after-school program at Good Hope Community Center, get up in front of one thousand people and talk about how "Ms. Cookie" had taught him how to speak in public by making him and his fellow students read their books out loud. And I was in tears again, and I knew that I had made the right decision to come to this action and show my support for this community centers campaign.

I can feel in my bones that maternal instinct that makes me want to protect and provide for my children. I would do anything for them--to make sure that they are healthy and safe and happy, that they have every opportunity to learn and grow and thrive. I am sure that nearly every mother feels this way about her kids, too. But as a Christian, I feel that I can't just fight for the good of my own kids, but that I should do what I can to make sure that all God's children have the love, the care, the opportunities that they need. Those kids, and their parents, who depend on these run down, neglected Montgomery County community centers deserve so much more than they are getting. And those kids are my kids, too.

Back in the Saddle Again

Saddled...
Originally uploaded by schooksonruss

Yesterday was my first Sunday back at church from my maternity leave, and for the most part it felt good to be back. Everyone welcomed me back so warmly and that really helped. I think they were almost as excited to see me as to meet Graham.

A friend of mine, who is also a pastor and a mom said to me, "Admit it--you couldn't stay home with your kids full time, could you?" And I don't think I could, really. My maternity leave has been such a special time, but I know that God has called me to both being a pastor and a mom, and so I am trying my best to balance doing them both as well as I can. I am really thankful that I have so much help though--I couldn't do any of this without Marcus. And the church has been, and continues to be, so wonderful.

So, giddie up! Let's go!

Ashes to Ashes

Today is Ash Wednesday and Graham and I met Marcus downtown for a noon service. It was a lovely, contemplative service that included the ritual imposition of ashes, which I always find to be a moving reminder of our brokeness, our mortality, and of God's grace and our redemption.

Before we went to receive our ashes, Marcus asked if I thought that Graham should get ashes on his head as well. My knee-jerk reaction was "No. He's got nothing to repent for." Sure, I'm his mom so I'm biased, but seriously, what sins could a seven week old commit? (His three-year-old sister on the other hand is another story :)

But when Marcus went up to the altar with Graham in his arms the pastor put the sign of a cross on both of their heads.

As I looked at the little black soot mark on my son's little forehead, it made me want to cry. But my tears of sadness soon turned to tears of gratitude and joy. Because the more I thought about it, he, like me, like his dad, like his sweet big sister, like all of us, is human. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Being human means that he is imperfect. He is part of this world and surrounded by great joy and great sorrow. He has within him the capacity for goodness as well as sin. And most of all, he is a child of God--loved, forgiven, and redeemed by God.

It also reminded me of a great article I read in this month's Sojourner's magazine called "The Heresy of the Perfect Parent" by Kari Jo Verhulst. She raises a lot of interesting points, among them questioning the validity of the idea that we, as parents, somehow think it's our job to make our children perfect people--as if. She writes: "For it is in those moments when grace cracks through, and I realize that [my daughter] is not mine, but belongs body and soul in life and in death, to her faithful savior Jesus Christ (to borrow from an old catechism), that I feel the least overwhelmed by the task of mothering her for the foreseeable future."

I am not a perfect person, not a perfect mom. And Graham will not be perfect either. But that's what grace is for after all. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...

Skipping Church?

Someone from Woodside asked me the other day why they hadn't seen Marcus and Nora in church lately. The truth is that we have been going to church, just not at Woodside. We are taking advantage of my maternity leave to "church hop" (not shop...just hop) and to hear my friends preach, to visit old friends and to worship in new places to see what other churches are doing. It's been great to worship together as a family. It's also been interesting to be anonymous and have no responsibility on a Sunday morning except to worship God (and try to keep my kids quiet in the pew!). Here's an update on our local church tour:

On Epiphany Sunday we went to Calvary Baptist Church in Washington, DC to hear my good friend Amy Butler preach. The sermon was excellent and the people were very warm and welcoming (Nora loved the nursery). I noted that, at least this particular Sunday there wasn't much congregational singing, and I missed that, although the choral music was beautiful. We were served communion by the ushers and took communion in our pews and it confirmed for me that that way of receiving communion just doesn't feel as meaningful for me as approaching the altar.

The following Sunday was Baptismal Renewal Sunday and we went to Bethesda UMC--the church I served before Woodside. It was special because we got to see a lot of old friends and introduce them to Graham (some of whom said "I didn't even know you were pregnant!"), and because that's the church where Nora was baptized it was very special for us to renew our Baptismal vows there. We heard our friend Jenny Cannon give the sermon and saw the beautiful new chancel renovation (and enjoyed the comfy new pew cushions!).

Last Sunday we went to the church at the other end of our street, St. Luke's Lutheran Church, for their Jazz service. Lutheran services seem a lot like the Catholic Mass to me (all of the liturgy but none of the guilt?) and nearly everything was sung. The music was pretty traditional, except for the accompaniment of a jazz quintet, so that was a little disappointing. But the Postlude, "Jesus is a Rock in a Weary Land," was awesome and the musicians really got into it. Their Bishop preached a homily that covered the Gospel lesson, the church's anniversary and MLK in about 7 minutes, and we had communion again, this time at the altar with real wine (which was pretty exciting for us Methodists). Nora's usually in Sunday school or the nursery when communion is served at Woodside, but she was with this week and got to take communion, which was great. Marcus did a good job explaining the significance to her and she enjoyed being part of the ritual. We walked to church, but still managed to be late. We have actually been late to church every week--not on purpose, just because it's been hard to get our act together. I have even more sympathy for the parents of young children in my church now that I am the mother of two.

In the coming weeks we are planning to go to River Road Unitarian Church to hear another friend preach (and because Marcus is interested in how the Unitarians worship) and to Foundry UMC to worship with some friends. We are planning to skip church one week next month because we'll be on Kiawah Island, SC with my mom, aunt and uncle and grandmother, but other than that, we'll be continuing our tour of local churches, and enjoying my stress-free Saturday nights.

Maternity Leave

OK, so this isn't the most "spiritual" of posts...but here's what we're up to:

Today, after two weeks of having grandparents here visiting, Graham and I are spending a quiet day at home together. Nora is back at school (and I miss her already) and Marcus is back at work. Nana and Poppy should be getting on an airplane back to Memphis within the hour. And I am still in my pajamas! Graham is dressed, but needs his diaper changed again, and can't decide if he wants to take a nap or not.

The baby thing is certainly easier the second time around--we are much less anxious and used to be sleep deprived. Balancing the needs of an active three year old with a newborn is a different challenge, but so far we're doing OK. It has been great to have family here, but we are looking forward to getting back into a routine.

The biggest challenge for me is just to be in the moment--to enjoy these days with my baby and not try and do too much. I feel some "church withdrawl" and as I look around the house I am constantly making a list of things I need and want to do. But I remind myself that in seven short weeks I will be back to the church and I will long for lazy these mornings with Graham and evenings doing puzzles and reading books with Nora.

An Advent Story

This is so worth reading...

http://www.textweek.com/advent_story.htm

The First Week of Advent

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs...

That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see that it is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become and the more joyful our expectancy.

from Romans 8, The Message version

Yet Another Reason I Love My Church Family

It's true--church families can be messy and frustrating at times. But there are also lots of reasons to love them. Here's one...

On Thursday night we had a worship planning meeting at my house because Marcus is travelling for work. My plan was to set up Nora with a DVD so that she would be occupied while we met (and maybe, just maybe, fall asleep). But I didn't want her to be all the way down in the basement family room where we keep the TV while we met upstairs, so I decided to move the TV to my room (a brilliant idea when you are 8+ months pregnant). So I get the TV upstairs and set it down on the bed so I can move stuff off the dresser, and just as I turn around it rolls off the bed and lands with a loud crash on the floor. Luckily there wasn't any broken glass and it didn't land on anyone's foot, but as I turned it over I heard the sickening sound of broken pieces inside. So now Nora is hysterical (because it scared the daylights out of both of us, and because she really wanted to watch TV) and it's 45 minutes before people are supposed to arrive for the meeting and I am wondering what the heck I am going to do. I decided to run up to the church and borrow the TV from the youth room (so I ended up hauling yet another TV down two flights of stairs like an idiot) and I got it home and set up before everyone came over and Nora was completely happy, but I was frazzled.

After the meeting I shared this story with a couple of people, Randy and Rebecca, because I knew that I was going to have to tell Marcus when he called and I was dreading that. They were supportive and assured me that Marcus would be OK--which he was, mostly. The next day I told the story to one other person at church, Ed, who I thought might have an idea where I could get another used TV cheap. Ed said that he would be on the look out for me. Less than an hour later I got a call from Rebecca who told me that she and her husband were planning to buy a new TV this weekend anyway, and would I like to have their old one. Then this morning I got a call from yet another person, Jerry, who had talked to Ed and he had a TV that he wanted to bring over to me, which I gratefully declined. Then I told this story to Marie who said that if we still needed one, she had one we could have!

This is just one great example of the love that church people have for one another most of the time. If you need something--friendship, support, prayers, food, or even a TV--the church family is a good place to go because, in their hearts, people are kind, generous, and loving.

Thanks everybody!

Blogging Makes Good Company

You'll never guess who else has a blog...

That's right. Screech, the mascot for the Washington Nationals Baseball Team. So now my new goal is to post more frequently than Screech. But the question is: whose blog would Nora rather read?

Rabble-Rouser for Peace

Last night a group of us from Woodside went to the National Cathedral to hear Archbishop Desmond Tutu speak on the Spirituality of Reconciliation. I had the privilege of taking a class with Archbishop Tutu when I was in seminary at Emory University, so I knew how wonderful he is and I was excited to share that experience with others. He continues to amaze me with his wisdom, his humor and the depth of his faith which leads him to believe (in spite of all the horrors in this world, including the ones that he has witnessed in South Africa) that human beings are inherently good and made in the image of God. You can watch his whole speech on the National Cathedral website, but here are some of my favorite quotes from last night (with a little paraphasing):

The heart of the Christian gospel isn't love...it is reconciliation.

Are there some things that are unforgivable? Yes...on a human level. But we are created in the image of God and called to be God's moral agents in the world...to strive to be perfectly loving as God is perfectly loving.

God never gives up on us. When we fall down, God picks us up, dusts us off and says, "Try again."

You have the power to be a saint...go for it, dude!